Coaching Circles – Practices of a leader – Part 2

In Part 1 of this article, I described a few practices and related qualities I believe are essential to leading coaching circles and that inspire those who come to work with us. I covered the practices of “Being real”, “Doing our inner work” and “Cultivating presence”. Here are a few more practices.

Practicing What We Preach

Self-consistency is another quality we bring to our work in coaching circles. How can we be taken seriously when all we do is point “the way” without being able to challenge what we know or make any changes of our own? Our dedication to continuously growing and expanding as a human being is a necessary condition to leading others in the same quest. This means that when we support others in taking on a difficult change or practice, we have a sense of how this will test their resolve because we have firsthand experience of the resistance that comes with shaking up what is familiar and developing new habits.

Building a Safe Container

A healthy relationship within a coaching circle requires a foundation of mutual trust, mutual respect, and freedom of expression. This is what allows members of the group to be honest and vulnerable and to take risks in experimenting with new actions. The coaching circle must provide this same container, where everyone can be free to explore what arises, challenge what they know, and collaborate in realizing the outcomes they are committed to. In this living system, there are no absolutes and no guarantees as to what will be learned or achieved.

Reading the Room

It takes a great deal of empathy to read a room and sense not only what is going on for individuals in the group and for the group as a whole, but also what is going on inside of us—sensing our intuition, managing our interpretations, and recognizing judgments from our inner critic. Attending to the “field” requires leaders to have a good sense of timing and the ability to adapt the process according to how receptive, confused, or ready group members might be at any given time. Without being attuned in this way, the quality of our support can be greatly affected, especially when we are intent on following “our plan.”

Telling the Truth

When we come from a place of authenticity and love of the truth, the last thing we want to do in leading a coaching circle is to impress others in the group with our perceived brilliance or authority. Rather, our role is one of challenging conventional wisdom and truly connecting with what new understanding is needed to support people in their development, as uncomfortable as this might be. How can we be truthful with others if our main concern is to please them or if we can’t tolerate their pain or discomfort? Mixing the right amount of support and challenge and knowing when to push and how hard are important facets of working together in a coaching circle.