The Coaching Posture in Coaching Circles

Coaching circles provide a safe and stimulating environment for people to explore and address challenges and opportunities most critical to their purpose and their development. At the same time, a cornerstone and distinguishing feature of Coaching Circles is the explicit aim to help participants develop a coaching posture. This is when participants typically move from advice-giving “problem solvers” to more spacious, reflective partners who ask insightful questions and hold a developmental stance. The role of facilitator-coaches in getting there is crucial because they are the ones who design and protect conditions that allow that shift, model the posture, and then gradually step back as the group becomes more competent and mature. 

How participants change

Over multiple sessions of the Coaching Circle, you can usually see a few predictable shifts in how participants show up:

• They move from advice to inquiry: early on, participants default to “Here’s what I’d do…”, but with practice they learn to simply ask questions and resist “fixing”.
• Questions become more open and reflective: they progress from yes/no or leading questions to open-ended ones that stimulate genuine reflection.
• They shift from “how to solve it” to “what is really going on”: questions move from procedural “how” (steps, solutions) toward “what” (perspective, assumptions, patterns), which opens inquiry instead of narrowing it.
• Focus moves from the problem to the person: attention gradually shifts from the external situation to the client’s posture, assumptions, reactions, choices, and responsibility in the challenge.
• They deepen from horizontal to vertical development: over time, participants stop only optimizing performance and begin to question their habitual ways of being, reframing identity-level assumptions and leadership patterns.
• They build orientation to service: instead of proving expertise, participants become more oriented to serving the colleague in the “airtime,” supporting them to find their own way forward.
• Group attunement grows: participants become more sensitive to the client’s pace and to the rhythm of the group, spotting openings for useful questions and knowing when to stay silent.
• Psychological safety and empathy increase: as the Coaching Circles continue, people practice deep listening, non‑judgment, and confidentiality, which reinforces a coaching stance of empathy and presence.
• A simple illustration of this shift is when a new participant begins by asking “Have you tried talking to your boss about X?”, and later, with practice, asks “What feels most important for you to express in this situation?” Same challenge, but a very different posture!

What the facilitator-coach does

The facilitator-coach is both architect and temporary scaffolding for this developmental process. Here is what contributes to developing a coaching posture:

• Understanding the group’s context and capacities to determine where to start and what pace of development is appropriate and realistic.
• Introducing and exploring the key principles and practices of coaching when first meeting as a Coaching Circle, trying on a real coaching conversation based on a simple model such as “The 3 Conversations in Coaching” – Relationship, Possibility, Action (See Quick Start Guide and Online Course).
• Establishing and reinforcing norms of confidentiality, curiosity, and respect so that a safe container exists for experimentation and vulnerability.
• Modelling the coaching posture by demonstrating, in real time, what good coaching looks like in different situations (for example, by spotting openings, protecting threads, adapting questions and managing the pace and flow of the inquiry to reflect what the client is experiencing at any moment, etc.).
• Embodying presence, deep listening, and an orientation to serve rather than to impress, so participants can “feel” the posture, not just hear it explained.
• Providing real-time guidance and feedback while fostering a spirit of collaboration among participants as the bar for coaching is gradually raised.
• Gently interrupting or redirecting when the group slips into advice-giving, rescuing or cross‑talk and helping them to formulate and refine their questions and interventions around coaching openings.
• Inviting clients during airtimes NOT to answer questions but to see them as “pointing towards” something to explore that’s unknown, intriguing or disturbing.
• Offering small bits of just‑in‑time teaching, for example, by using learning themes during each session or by offering simple distinctions when the opportunity arises during the collaborative inquiry phase (for example, highlighting the difference between “how” and “what” questions, the power of holding the space for emotions, etc.).
• Designing questions for reflection and sharing after an airtime or at the end of a session on what worked and what could be improved in the coaching process.
• Supporting the group to notice and correct its own drift (e.g., ‘What’s going on for the client now?” or “What kind of question would serve the client now?”), so that the quality of assessments and contributions gradually improves.
• Intentionally stepping back over time allowing the group to self-manage while helping them to deepen their way of being, their coaching skills and their capacity to learn on a continuous basis.

Needless to say, developing and embodying a coaching posture not only makes the contributions of participants more impactful within the coaching circle, it also broadens the range of possibilities they have to lead, manage and coordinate their actions successfully and meaningfully “back home”. I am always touched by the stories and anecdotes participants share on what has shifted in their way of being as a result of adopting a coaching posture and the impact this has had on their lives and the lives of others. Share your own stories here! 

If you wish to train as a facilitator-coach for Coaching Circles, check the offers on our website.